Excuse me, while I keep my Ego intact!

I'd gone to see a movie today. While, the movie itself was fun and a good watch, I got extremely tiresome of the public's state of mind today.

Th movie started, and I'm one of those people who HATE, absolutely DESPISE, any conversation during the film. Unless of course you are at home watching a DVD. This is something that I never gave much attention to before I shifted to London. Sure, I made the occasional conversation during the film, but as I started going for more films in London, I realised the general rule that is followed by people in a movie theatre. It's to keep MUM!

I personally think it is simply good manners to observe silence during a film. A random chit chat or a comment of something once in a while is good. But talking throughout the film as if it was your pop-in-law's movie theatre is simply unforgiveable.

I sat down to watch the film, soon enough a couple of people came and sat down next to me. As soon as the girl placed her bum on the seat she started talking. As if the theatre compelled her to talk. She kept commenting, and I ignored most of the time. But the comments wouldn't stop. More than half way through the film, I felt like I was sitting and watching a DVD with Director's commentary on, only that this director made very annoying, irrelevant and dumb commentary.

"I'm not here to hear your comments, could you please keep it low," Shrutters exclaimed.
"Noone is asking you to listen to me," said the Bitch.
"Yes, but you are loud so keep it low," I explained.
"I must say you have a very short attention span," she claimed.
"I might have a short attention span but the fact remains you are loud, BITCH!" I screamed now.

I looked away, seething with anger. Firstly she kept commenting throughout the film and secondly she wanted to put the blame on me!! Sure I acted like a first class bitch too. It definitely wasn't my pop-in-law's theatre and she paid just as much as me to enjoy the film anyway she wants to. But isn't the whole meaning of being in public mean that you have to have certain manners that DO NOT obstruct other people.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I would dare not make any other person's life miserable. Specially in a movie hall.

"Wow, you are so aggressive, Wild Cat," screamed the Bitch's friend Skanky (name I chose!)
"Well, yes I am a wild cat," explains Shrutters, while sharpening her claws, "You want me to scratch you off!"

Whoa easy there tiger! I told myself. Just because someone is so stupid doesn't give me a reason to be a bitch. I just screamed "I hate Calcuttans !"

"The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrongant; have humor, but without folly."

Jim Rohn

Another instance in the same movie theatre. My friend whose sitting a few seats next to me, turns around and tells the guy, "Could you please stop kicking the seat, please." She said this after he had already kicked her about five times. Kicker Dude replies, "I'm not kicking you are moving too much!"

My jaw dropped. All these people were educated people. Surely, for them to be so rude was shocking! I'm flabbergasted, almost mortified to return to Calcutta, in case all my life I end up struggling with people about their mannerisms.

I know, after reading this you are probably thinking that I sound like a total snob. But to ask someone to show some decency and respect other people in their day to day lives... is that to much to ask for?

My sister explains to me, that this is how it generally is. It's the people's ego that stops them from being a better person. It's the case of "how can you say that to me, I will be rude if I want to, it's none of your business. My ego tells me not accept my mistake and be rude to you in return!" She advises the best option is to ignore, but if Ignorance is for the layman, and we each day try to better ourselves how can ignorance be bliss?



XXX


PS> note how all the confrontations were made with a PLEASE & how the responses were that of a wounded tiger.

Girls of Riyadh (Banat Al-Riyadh)

Lord knows the way she feels
Everyday in his name she begins
To have her shining here by my side
I'd sacrifice all them tears in my eyes
Aicha Aicha - ecoute moi

-Aicha by Outlandish

I just finished reading a book called, Girls of Riyadh by Rajaa Alsanea. It's a really good book which coves traditions, customs and values of Saudi Arabia, all very neatly packaged as the perfect chick-lit. My favourite kind! I'm not a big fan of chick literature, I often find it to be dull with the monotonous ramblings about love and boys. But this book, which when my sister bought it, I tut-tuted it. That is until I read the first page.

The book is Sex & the City meets Gossip Girl in Riyadh. I do love the characters of the book, the girls are so simple with such dreams filled with love and hope. The four main characters of the book are girls belonging to the "velvet" or elite social circle. They constantly struggle with love and a society riddled with customs and traditions is enthralling.

The book has been banned in Saudi Arabia, but from what I've read lot of these usually get banned. The book will not seem that scandalous to the Western world. To understand it, it's important to understand the way an Arab man's mind works. The book in all is very amusing and the stories are delightful.

I was always intrigued by the Middle East. The language, the people are so different. The burkha or abaya (as I learnt from the book) clad woman who roam about the shops of London during the hot hot summers always made me wonder why would they want Western clothes. I was shocked to discover that women in Riyadh do go to offices (yes, I was that naive, but trust me knowing these women work made the feminist in me smile).

The book quotes the Q'aran and the many poets of the Arab world. You learn so many Arabic words, like habibti means My Love.

The author, Rajaa Alsanea manages to use her words to reach out and scandalize the readers. It's almost as if you are living through each page. You can almost smell the streets of Riyadh when she talks about the late night shops during Ramadan, you can feel the looks of the boys and get immersed in the desperation of both sexes.

The book simply put out that girls everywhere are the same. So much so that I want to visit Riyadh with all my heart now. A few weeks, much before I started reading the book, I had googled Riyadh (no, I don't use LiveSearch *whatever!* :P). I was pleasantly surprised to see the marvellous buildings and towers.

Saudi Arabia from what I gathered from the book has a complex society, but there are equal amounts of liberal and strict people. It is a society full of people who discriminate between the upper and lower class, just like any other society (especially India! 0_o yes I went there!!!)

No this DOES NOT mean I will start reading the Shopaholic series of chick-lits, but I do feel that men should read more chick-lits just so they get to know women (lol), just like my friend Rayhan reads them *awww*. This does mean that I do so badly want to visit Riyadh.

Those who want us, our souls resent them
And those whom we want, fate refuses to give to us.

Norah Al- Hawshan

Here's another quote from the book that I loved:

"...Then he tells me, I'm a man! The mind gives me counsel and I've listened to it. So I say to him, I'm a woman! I sought my heart's wisdom, and in heart I trust!"


XXX

Shout Out !

I have a 2837283687917297193 and a million more things going through my head right now but before I do anything else I want to make a shout out to my elder brother (whose recently found out the link to my blog with a little emotional blackmail!!!)
Anyhow, it's his birthday today, and I just want to wish him a very Happpyyy Birthday! I would've said this on facebook too, but crap connection doesn't allow me.



My brother, Nish, is my fave guy in the whole wide world. He's the guy who taught me how to play cricket, albeit grudgingly, he taught me it's okay to be possessive, it just means you are loved. He is the one who would sit outside Taj Mahal with me as a kid, because I wanted a picture taken and noone would let me, so we kinda protested ;) He is the one I would turn to if I ever need anyone. I remember, when I shifted to London he was the person I called up and cried, just because I needed to. I do think I embarrass him loads, and I am often the butt of his jokes, but he's the only person I'd never get offended with.

To the outside world, we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time.

~Clara Ortega



I love you loads my big brother :) Wish you all the love and luck in the world. You deserve it :) Here's to many more wonderful years and memories to come *clink-clinks the champagne glasses ;)*

XXX

ATTACK OF THE NERD !!

So I did this test and MADE sure Mr. Schitt did it too, because trust me, he's more of a nerd than I am. Even though, he thinks otherwise (just because you know all the math, science AND computer question DOES make you a Nerd!!) Nyaa nyaaa

Anyhoo, here's my result


Slightly Dorky Non-Nerd







xxxx

TechnoNONONONO

I tend to get attached to things pretty easily. Back in the day I used to be surgically attached to my cell phone (only to text, I can never speak over the phone!!) and now it's my lappie.



I usually don't do much online, check facebook, play games, the usual. But for the past one week, my internet connection has been super sucky. I feel handicapped. I can't facebook and I have over 30 mails lying unread in just my hotmail inbox. Don't even get me started about gmail. All in all I can't even use MSN messnger. I called the Internet provider company and they have been giving me false hopes of sending an engineer in *soon* to fix the problem. I call they say Ji Maam Ji Maam (yes maa'm, yes maa'm) and that it's high priority someone will come today evening and sort it out. Arrrghh !I'm still waiting.

I feel so helpless. I NEEEED to facebook because I still need to thank people for the birthday messages from last month! Doh !




Shrutters sobs....

XXX

Meet me !

You are The High Priestess

Science, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.

The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. She holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change or fluxuation, particularily when it comes to your moods.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

XXX

MEME TIME !!

The original meme I read said to go to the address bar at the top of your internet browser, type a letter of the alphabet, and write down what website comes up. I usually delete my history often so I don't know what I'll come up with. I'll try avoiding the boring mail ones, so here it goes :)

A - Asos.com
B - BBC.co.uk
C - Cen's Two Cents Blog
D - http://dejavu-intl.com/
E - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extrapolation (lol)
F - Flickr
G - Gorkana
H - http://home.swipnet.se/~w-15266/cultur/ludwig/beeim.htm
I - Ipsos-Mori
J - http://jellybeanmadison.wordpress.com/
K - Kesseret Blog
L - Louis Vuitton.com
M - MiuMiu.com
N - Net-a-porter.com
O - Observer.com
P - Prada.com
Q - *nothing came up!!!! shocking*
R - Racejournalonline.com
S - Slfreestyle & my blog :))
T - Telegraph.co.uk
U - Uk.Msn.com
V - *blank*
W - http://welmitabonekita.blogspot.com/
X - *blank*
Y - Yahoo
Z - *blank*

Quite vain eh? Prada, Louis Vuitton, net-a-porter, Miu Miu, but in my defense I'm going to say I have quite a number of news websites too. \o/

XXX

Where's the Funk in Funky Town?

SO, it's been three weeks since I landed my cute tushy to Funky Town. All goes well, little drama, little pampering, little everything. But last night, I finally went out at night with my girlies.

We went to this lounge and then to this club, I say club, people call it a club, but it has to be the tiniest club in the world. It's all a bit icky. Anyhow, this place is called Shisha. A few of ya'll would know about it. It's the most overpriced place in Funky Town and filled with the biggest bunch of losers.

So, I was one of the losers there last night. We went in about eleven o'clock. *OMG! Who goes to a club that early?* Well, I do. I don't really see the time, if I want to have a good time at four a clock in the afternoon, I'd go out and do it. Besides we were in Shisha for what I thought would be just one drink.

We entered and this place was deader than a cemetery full of dead people! I didn't care much, I don't need a crowd as such to entertain myself, I can just have a great time with my girlies. Dum dee dum, three of us decided to have Kamakazee shots before we head off. The DJ when we entered was playing LOVE SONGS! You know those really cheesy 80s music, excatly that. No wonder the place was dead. My friend went and told the DJ something.



Like I said, I wasn't bothered. But after the shots, my friend really pestered me to go to the DJ and ask him to play one decent song AT THE LEAST! Grudgingly, I went up, asked Mr Oh I'm So Hot but in reality so Ugly DJ *can you see I'm vain?* if he had Whiley. He said WHAAAAT ! Rudeness ! You say pardon and not WHAAAAT ! I repeated. And he said no. I mean really he hadn't heard the awesome "Usually drink, usually dance, usually bubble" Whiley! Everyone loves Whiley. How can you not know who Whiley is?! Anyhow, I asked him politely if he had any other number besides Love Songs. He said he doesn't have any songs.

I was flabbergasted ! I mean sure I wouldn't go to LDN and start talking to a DJ, and even when I have, they have been the most polite and genuinely nice people! And I'm not talking about Student Bar Djs here. I had a good mind to tell him to fuck off, but then I didn't. I have to go back to crappy Shisha again on Friday. I shouldv'e asked him why is he a DJ if doesn't have any songs?

Oh Mr. Schitt! Maybe I shouldv'e gone with you, you make me look so much more cooler and I don't get rudeness slapped on my face! Mr. Schitt make me coooooool ;)

XXX

YouTube me !

I wanted to, I needed to, I desired to put videos on my bloggie, but the thing is I'm a bit technically challenged.

I love this video, it's BBC's The Wall video, and it cracks me up. Thanks to Harsh for helping me figure this shit out. Now you all can enjoy my stupiness!






XXXX

Big Bad Blogger Challenge

I love reading blogs. Most of them are the best short stories you'll ever read. Ch'know? is a blog I read daily. Alicia, the blogger, writes upto 2-3 posts everyday, and it's always fun to go to her page and read a new post every single time.
She put up this blogpost recently, called the Big Bad Blogger Challenge earlier in the week and I've been meaning to work on it, but I'm, well, a lazy sod.
So today,I've decided to take up the challenge and answer all the questions, just because, I'm pretty damn bored ! I usually blog about my RL, so here goes nothing.




Q.1)Do you have places in your dreams that you frequent, but yet they do not exist anywhere in the world?

A. I'm a dreamer, I dream of places which I have never visited before and it just so ends up, after my dream I end up in the said dream place. For example, a couple of weeks or months ago, I dreamt of standing near a counter and talking to someone. I saw a suitcase, and I was having a very important decision. Fast forward to now, I was standing in Mumbai International Airport, and there I was standing near the very same counter, with the same suitcase and having a very important discussion. Spooky eh? Well, that's just the beginning of me ;)

Q.2)If you could snap your fingers and get rid of one thing in your life, not body related, what would it be and why? And I say not body related just because I think we tend to be hard on ourselves sometimes, and we need a body rest. :)

A.I would get rid of me carrying around bad weather everywhere. I swear it's a curse! When I'm London it rains, when I'm India it pours. Hell, last year when I went to Barcelona for a holiday, it poured all the four days we were there, and the jolly ol' locals informed us that it never rains in Barcelona *not this much* I went to Porto and Madrid this year it rained. It's a curse, how do I get rid of it?? :(

Q.3) Besides your car or house, what's the most expensive luxury item that you have? Did you buy it just to have it, or do you actually use it?

A. The most expensive thing that I have bought, which I use super carefully, is my Fendi bag. I love it to pieces, but I can't use it when it rains *I don't want to spoil it* and knowing my luck with the weather, it means I hardly ever get to use it. Shruti pats her adorable silver Fendi bag and whispers to it, "I'll take care of you my baby." ;)

Q.4) Would you start a relationship with someone you met online?

A. Hmmm, seeing that Mr. Schitt was transferred to me through the damn 'ternet, I'd say, if this was back in the day, yes. Now, maybe not so much, because you can't really line out the creeps from the naturally freaky! This is not to say I'd befriend every freak who sends me a Facebook message, "I saw your profile, your smile is like Holyfield's knockout punch, coffee at Costa?" I don't think so! But Laddoo, one of my closest friends is my 'ternet friend too. "Hey laddoo, we should meet up!!" ;)

Q.5) Have you ever been in a harsh weather situation, like a hurricane? How did you deal with it?

A. Call me the "Weather lady", not because I can forecast the weather, but because, I'm the queen of bad weather. Ya'll know that I carry rain, but a few know that back in 2005, I was stuck in Mumbai, because of the damn floods. It rained cats and dogs the day I got my tattoo and was supposed to fly back home. I dragged my suitcase when I found out my flight has been cancelled because of the rains. I sighed, I wanted home, my own bed. I thought it'll subside, but neeeeeoooo, it rained so much, I was stuck in Mumbai for two nights. The drama queen in me was very pissed off. I couldn't go out, and there was no electricity in the house. It was pathetic! After two days, when it was safe for air traffic, I took the first flight out. The good news, I got a great front page story for the newspaper I was working with that time.

That's all for now folks. I'll update when the Thursday topic is put up. Woot !



XXX

I'm tired

**warning- super depressing**

Of late, it feels like I'm zoning out of my own existence. I don't know why it's happening. But I'm gradually fading away.
I turn 23 in two days. Usually, the hyper bunny in me would be jumping up and down. I somehow have always loved birthdays, be it mine or loved ones. I would plan out my birthday in my head, a party, a dress.
More than that I would imagine what gifts I would get. It's silly and childish, but I love receiving presents. More so, because I love giving them to.
When you are young, everyone plans something special around your birthday, because they know it would make your tiny heart scream with joy. Are birthdays only for kids?
I know, I should be old enough to understand that birthdays are no big deal. But I just can't act like it is any other day. Can I? When it's my friend's birthdays, I try to organize a surprise for them, or book them for an amazing meal. Why wouldn't anyone do it for me?

Reality keeps ruining my life^

It's usually very easy for me to get addicted to things. Be it chocolate, Facebook or a silly computer game. I usually don't come across as the person who would be glued to the laptop hours at end playing computer games. Well, you can imagine me as the person glued to Facebook or MSN, but computer games would probably never cross your mind.
Anyhow, I've been playing this game for the past year. I started it when I was writing my dissertation, mainly because life was a bore. A year on and I'm still hooked. I think Second Life™ does that to many people.
I always found a reason to log on, curiosity, fashion, OooOo Virtual friends, or just plain old exploring ! It's a really cool game, if like me you have no life !
Recently, London School of Journalism announced that it would be opening it's doors in the Metaverse. LSJ would be offering lectures on various topics, and it's courses are NUJ (National Union of Jounalists) certified! And I went on to have a look.
The place was dead. Unless it's a club or a sex dungeon (gasps!!), most places in SL™ tend to be empty, it's only full till the eyeballs in case of an event.
So I left and came back to the sim a couple of days later, to find some dude who explained to me about LSJ. I can't say the conversation was interesting, but I asked him when the next lecture was *yes! I am a nerd!* and he said that the lectures are held with gaps of 21 days in between and the last one was the weekend gone by. Disappointed I agreed to keep track of the events. A month and still waiting ! Several writer and poetry ones have occurred, but none relating to journalism so far. BooHoo !

Click to see the larger version of me in the virtual LSJ campus


I do think it's a great idea for LSJ to open it's doors in SL™, I wish they had this during my university days, hell I wish my university did it. By the way, the university I attended was the top journalism university when I started, by the time I left it went down in the charts. What a bummer !
SL™ also has other businesses online, Seat just sent me a notecard about it's new sim, I haven't checked it out and I doubt I will! But the Doctor Who write, Terrance Dicks, was online recently for a little talk his book and Giorgio Armani had an interview in SL™ last year. So it's all very cool. Not just for little nerds like me :)
I just thought I should write something positive about the virtual world, since most national media seems to diss it, hey ! it's not all about sex and hawala *money laundering for the blissfully ignorant*.

^Quote by Calvin from Calvin&Hobbes

XXXX

Yipee Yipee Yaa Yaa!

OMG! I finally downloaded Photoshop! Yaaaaaa !!! :) Super happy, now I can do super shit!
Also, I'm meeting my girlies tomorrow for our Boozey Night, which we have been planning since Octorber 2007! Yes, SIX months now !! We going to Absolut Ice Bar, yea-hay!!!
I love my life !! <3

xx

Dear Pervert

I see you have been checking me out ever since I got on the train. I do realize that my skirt is short, but in case you haven't noticed it's finally summers!

Your leering at me just angers me and had you not been drunk and with a burly friend I would've kicked you in the balls so hard that next time you even think about looking at a girl, you hurt!
I know you are a low lying scum who hasn't got laid for the longest time and your idea of a perfect date is beer and a few burps before getting down to business. Mind you, your ugly bald head and disgusting clothes don't make it easy for you to get that many dates in the first place!
I would like to point out that just because you have your pathetic eyes on me, doesn't bother me. Maybe seeing me is the highlight of your day or maybe even month of your sorry excuse for a life!

So carry on your misreable existence while I pop out of the train not bothered about you! Next time before you leer at someone, I do hope you remember she won't give a flying fuck about you, because my dear, you are nothing but a pathetic pervert. Here's tip for you: Why don't you choke on your beer and die?

Muchos hatred
Me !

*Picture courtesy: Cartoonstock.com*

You got me tripping for you !

This is my favourite poem of all times, it makes me smile, it gets the teeny romantic out in me *yeah the only time i know of my romantic side's existence!*

I wanted to share it with the whoever reads this blog...it's the most beautiful poem I've read.



I carry your heart

I carry your heart with me
(I carry it in my heart)
I am never without it(anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
I fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)
I want no world( for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart(I carry it in my heart)

- E E Cummings

I've just returned from a week long holiday in the sun. Spain and Portugal are two countries I love. There is something so romantic about these countries, or maybe because the men in this country are super hot and their accents are to die for.
For someone who hates travelling, I have travelled to quite a few places and I blame (or thank) my parents for that. They love travelling.
This whole travelling business got me thinking, I don't hate travelling as much as I hate the journey. Once I'm at the destination I look doing silly touristy stuff, I love seeing how the locals live, and I speak the local language albeit very miserably!
It's the damn journey that turns me off from travelling every time. Right from check in through baggage claim, I hate the whole process!
Check in is the worst. When I travel from India, I always have excess baggage. Let me rephrase this, wherever I travel from I always have excess baggage. I had excess baggage when I came back from Spain this time! What can I say I don't believe in travelling light! I blame it on my girliness ! After the "Please, but it's only 2 more kilos extra, and I don't even have a handbag" drama, I always ALWAYS point out to the check in lady that I want an aisle seat. As soon as the word aisle has flowed out of my mouth, I get a look from the check in lady. She looks me up and down, and then shrugs, I bet she's wondering what a shortie like me needs an aisle seat for. Girls go for windows...don't they?
Those cramped up economy class seats, where the fatty or the pervy next to you is spilling all over you, or omg that annoying kid in the seat behind you who won't shut up! Oh my god I hate planes!
Even the toilets on planes are freakishly tiny! God forbid I put on a lil' weight, I won't be able to go pee ! Once in the toilet locks are either broken or work very very very badly ! It takes me an hour to lock myself in, and I've had times, when people have barged into OTHER people while they were doing their toilet thing! Tsk tsk at Air India passengers !
Have you ever noticed in the toilets the No Smoking sign? And write below it the ASHTRAY sign! I don't get that ! What are the trying to say...you're not allowed to smoke, but if you do smoke remove all evidence by using the ashtray !
It baffles me ! Oh, I so wish there was a teleport system, in which I shut my eyes choose my destination and within seconds I arrive there without the hassles of airports and aeroplanes ! *Sigh*
I can only wish...
xoxoxox

CONVERSATIONS

I got stuck with someone on the elevator today, someone higher up, but I didn't have a word to say. I work with her in close proximity and yet I just stared down at my shoes.

I swear I never ever have an idea how to start conversations in weird places. Come to think of it, I don't know how to start conversations in most places !

I know the usual, if you meet a new person, introduction is the norm, but I can't even handle that! If someone comes up to me in a pub, and says, Hey I'm BOB...i'll be like OKAY and that's it, I've just killed the conversation.



The other day I was at the pub with work peeps and I was getting bored, my friend had left and I didn't wanna get drunk as I was supposed to go and attend another party after this. So there I was standing with my glass of Jack & Coke when I turned around to face my colleague who was having a super conversation with someone I had never seen in my life. I poked my nose in, stood around basically till we were introduced, she made some comment about cold hands, I smiled sheepishly. That's it I killed the conversation again!

I have a feeling that I am the official Conversation Killer! Or Non Starter, either way, I suck at making conversations!

I find this absolutely absurd. I tried reasoning with myself that maybe I end up going quiet because I'm outside my comfort zone only to rebuff myself that PUBS are my comfort zone.

Couple of months down the line I was supposed to go for dinner with Mr. Schitt, who suggested we meet at the pub near his work place. Dum dee dum, I went and there with Mr. Schitt were all his work people.

Knowing me from the above comments you'd think I must've blown it. But no no no, let me correct you my precious readers (if there are any!!) I had the most amazing time, which resulted in me not going for dinner in the end, making amazing friends who I've kept in touch and just the other week they came over to my house and we all had a splendid time, well atleast I did.

So I'm really peeved off about not knowing how to talk to the important people. Ever stuck alone in an elevator with the guy/girl you always wanted to talk to, or went to the pub with your boss and could muster only a few nods and "ummms"? Well if not, I salute you lucky sod, because not knowing the right thing to say at the right time, is the bloody story of my life. And I call myself a journalist. Meh

[photo courtesy: www.nataliedee.com]

xxxxx

Love Bites!

Love's been doing the rounds in my head for the past couple of weeks.

The word LOVE is used so loosely, and I find it disturbing. Rewind a couple of years when I was a teenager, love was something you gushed about. Now that I'm older I often get confused with the way people use love.

I used to know this girl in school who would go up to the randomest girl in class and say OH I LOVE YOU. Initially, I thought 'How sweet!' until I realised after uttering the I LOVE YOUs the girl would bitch about the same person.

Okay...maybe the cynic in me refuses to accept unconditional love, maybe I haven't been swept into the "wonderful" world of unconditional love. But the fact remains that in todays world you can never be too sure.

Love is a very sensitive word for me. When I do say I love someone, I mean it. I would never use it loosely. If I don't love someone, why the fuck would I say it?



I have had people come up to me and say that they love me and I just stare blankly wondering 'Do you even know me to love me?'

For me, the person who criticizes me is my best friend, the person who compliments me is my enemy.

You don't fall in love overnight, be it a friend or a lover. You need to know the person over time. It can be the most magical feeling if put in the right context. I wish everyone would just sit back and think for once before using it so loosely.

XXX

Ummmm I don't have anything to say but I wanna say it nonetheless! It's getting warmer in London and I'm loving it! I hate the cold weather, so I'm glad springs here!
I've not been doing much with myself lately and it kinda gets boring! I'm loving freelancing with Cosmopolitan.co.uk right now, but it's the rest of the boring bit I'm getting terribly sick of.
I kinda regret going home coz I'm sick of staring at the ceiling, staring at the walls.
mygodihopeigetsomefunintomylife! baaaaaaaaaaaaaahh ! I'm happy I need to dance! I need someone to dance with! I need someone to listen to my rants! I need hugs! I need friendly hugs! I miss that !
I need to smoke a ciggie, why? Coz I miss it!
I love being a bad ass! I need to do something wild! I'm trapped........END OFxxxxxxxxxx

I really hate human beings!

I am so fucking pissed off right now, if I owned a motherfucking gun I swear I would've shot around like a mad woman (not at people though!!!)

I am sick of everything ! Yes fine fucking hell I am back to my old depressing self again! I am so angry! Yes, I am a cynic, why because if I don't be one you gonna trample over my dreams and wishes like a fucking elephant would trample a small mouse!

I just hate everything! I don't want to answer to people. I don't wanna live up to other people's expectations of me! I don't need constant nagging and I don't wanna do what I don't wanna do!

If I don't wanna ever work it's my fucking business none of yours. I don't wanna work coz you think I should coz trust me even without work I would do just damn fine!

I don't wanna wait up for people to show up just so that they can leave again! I don't want fake smiles nd fake happiness. I don't need them coz they lead to tears and I goddamn hate tears.

I'm so tired of crying so that you can hear me. But you are so fucking deaf when it comes to me! You all are !

I wanna run away! I don't need responsibility. Let me learn to be responsible for myself then tell me to be responsible for others.


I am so fucking trappped. So claustrophobic in this fucking big world. So lonely in this noisy over populated world.

Just let be me, please !

xxxx

Commuting by public transport in London can be quite a sport. No, no, not the adventorous kind, but the "watching a boxing match on TV" kind of sport!
When commuting an excruciating long journey to and fro work, Londoners can only do the following few things.
A) Pretend to be utterly engrossed in your book/ newspaper
B) Listen to your iPod etc and have a complete blank look on your face
c) Sleep

I on the other hand am the rude commuter who stares at people nearby, making up stories about their lives. Being observant is one of the things that make me a journalist! And hey, it's a good way to pass time.

On my way to work today I saw a BLINGTARD. (definition: Blingtard- someone who goes OTT with BLING BLING!) I was amazed to see this botoxed woman and being me I started bitching about her clothes in my head. She had so much of bling on, I needed sunglasses to sheild my poor eyes! Gold chains, diamond rings on all fingers, bracelets, studded blingy bag, fur coat, and those darn Faith black boots with studs and diamonds and every shite thing possible!

I'm not bitch and I'm totally into each to their own. Everyone has a right to wear what they want. But never in my life had I thought I would ever see a Real Life BLINGTARD. I wish I had a camera, it was indeed a Kodak moment!

I looked at her, then I looked at me. She stared me down. My badly straightened hair, my chipped red nail varnish, my face looking like someone's punched me. Oh god ! I looked like a complete TART !

Sheesh...what's better a TART or a BLINGTARD? To justify myself, I can only say that it was wahaaayyy too early in the morning for me and I just recently recovered from fever! Meh, even with all that I didn't look like a Blingtard....nyah nyah nyaaa

Also, it looked like Blingtard had colour her blonde hair with a very mean shade of pink, the work of a crack addict I must say.

Eh, maybe she just wanted to be a strawberry blonde. ;)

xxxxxxxx

Happiness for sale!

I have made a decision today. The decision, the oh very important decision is to write HAPPY blogs. Why? Well because I have been told the following in regards to my bloggie:

a) I can't read your blogs because they are too depressing
b) Write a happy blog, depressing blogs don't suit you

Now, let me clear this first and foremost. Although through my bloggie I come across as the depressed emo kid who listens to sad sad sad music all alone in her room, away from the world and who likes to cut her wrist for fun, I am far from that!

Yes, I have the occassional bouts of depression and yes, I do love my company A LOT. But I think cutting wrists is where I draw the line! I don't think that would be a good look for me. ;)




I don't really care to dwell on the fact who I am, but these comments made me feel bad about the emo in me. It also made me dwell on the fact that, I do write happy blogs (see Wanted! Girl!, I like semi Naked Spartans, Daniel Craig, and the general oh I'm happy today posts!!!!). Now that it has been established that I'm not an emo, I'm going to write CHEEK STRETCHING SMILEY, JAW ACHINGLY HAPPY BLOG POSTS!

I don't know how I'm going to go about it but I shall do it just for YOU, so that YOU, Mr. Schitt can read my bloggie :)

Oh cmon who am I kidding? I'm never going to document happy moments coz I'd be out celebrating them silly ! But I'll try none the less ;)

xxxxxxxx

*sigh*

I'm terribly depressed today. It's of those days where everything seems like a cold shade of blue and grey!

Nothing can cheer me up. Unless it's a nice tapenyaki meal at Pan Asian, but I don't think that is going to happen.

I know why I'm so sad. I'm going back to London next week and one part of me is breaking into the tiniest and painful pieces. This is not to say that I don't consider London as my home. London is a place where I'm truly me, the fun, wacko, weird, often childish but overtly aware me. But here, in India, is where I am happy.

I've had a gazillion happy memories in London and I love my independence there, yet I feel so empty and clueless without the noisy Indian lifestyle of mine.

I miss the overcrowded streets, I miss the unbearable heat, I miss the language, I miss the comforts, I miss the chattery friends, I miss the gossip, I miss being lazy, I miss food, I miss the pollution, I miss the few greenery, I miss fighting with cab drivers and bargaining in shops. I miss how if you call a policeman or a ticket collector in my home town, "Bhaiya, paise nahin hain, jaane do na" and you smile sweetly they'll let you off the hook. I miss the ungodly breakfast times, I miss hugs, I miss lying on my mom's lap and forgetting all the worlds worries. I miss how someone is always there for you. I miss family the most. I miss watching stupid Hindi TV with family. I miss the goddamned Bollywood songs that the radios won't stop playing. I miss the witty adverts. I miss a made bed every night. I miss being pampered. I miss that even a small bruise can be a matter of much concern. I miss that plans are made at a whim. I miss unneccesary small talks. I miss the heated debates on politics, I miss people's views on India's future. I miss HOME ! a LOT ! and I will probably never accept this when I'm back in London, but I miss everything about my city, my country. The passionate people, the rowdy people, the know-it-all people, the lazy people, the proud people, the traditional people.

Every single thing about me is from my country. I am proud to be who I am today, if nothing else, I am proud to be Indian. Everytime someone mentions my country, I swell with pride. When the sub-editor at Metro kept telling me about Yuraj Singh's sixers in the match against South Africa, I wanted to stop working and watch the match with my friends and family. When Vijay Mallaya decided to name his new F1 team Force India, I was gloating. Heck, when someone even talks about going to an Indian restaurant I am the expertise choosing the right meal. I argue fiercely about Indian women's sexiness. I quote examples of Indians who've made it big.

I love my country, I love my home.

xxxxxx

IF MY LIFE WERE A FILM, THIS WOULD BE THE SOUNDTRACK!

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool...


Opening Credits:
Rape Me- Nirvana!

Waking Up:
No Woman No Cry - Bob Marley

First Day of School:
We'll live and die in these towns- The Enemy

Falling in Love:
Because I got High- Afroman

Fight Song:
She Hates Me- Puddle of Mud

Break up Song:
Check up on it- Beyonce

Prom:
Baby Boy- Beyonce ft. Sean Paul

Life:
Teddy Picker- Arctic Monkeys

Driving:
Suburban Knights- Hard-Fi

Flashback:
Foundations- Kate Nash

Wedding:
Same Jeans- The View

Birth of a Child:
Hey there Delilah- Plain White Ts

Final Battle:
Fuck it(I don't want you back)- Eamon

Death Scene:
Stars in their Eyes- Just Jack

Funeral Song:
Chasing Pavements- Adele

End Credits:
Chasing Cars- Snow Patrol

So, if my life would be a film, it would the depressing/EMO kind with occassional flashes of happiness.

TAAA-DAAAAAA: Kurt Cobain will do his thing for the opening credit, though I wish the song was either Depressed or Lithium. Anyhow this gives a glimpse of how grungy the film would be !
I get up waking up hating women and believe that school is so dreadful I'll probably die there *what a coincidence but so true!* I will fall in love but of course because I got high and then once I get sober I will break up, because "SHE" hates me...wait a min...am I a lesbian in my film who turns straight later, since I'll be singing Baby BOY! OMG!
I would be as witty as my darling Alex Turner which is all good :) my life does sum that up...bwahaahaha *evil laughter!*
As usual when I am driving I would've extra loud music, trying to fit in the suburban lifestyle.
When I look back at my life I will be singing about the woes of a lover! "and I know I should let go...but I can't"
I love the fact that I will be getting married in the Same Jeans,and my kid will be called Delilah. And when I do decide to throw in the towel I will still be swearing like a mad woman !
I'll probably die on the pavement after chasing cars!


LOL, I love this ! And it is so accurate, I didn't change a thing! SO there now, you know me ;)

xxxxx

WANTED: A GIRL !

Smooth king of the world looking for a nice girl who likes Iron Maiden and can roll a good joint. Must be into the 70s music scene ! And should be able to talk rubbish for hours at end. A good sense of humor is neccesary. Should be able to tolerate Bengalis, "aktu mishti bangla bolte pari." The girl should also be able to jive and be passionate about food and be madly in love with whiskey. A British accent is a must!

If you are into cheesy pop, please look away NOW! Should be able to watch sensible movies, no ROM COM shit!




Shameek Chakraboty (pictured above) is an IIM A grad, which means he is a nerd, but a loveable nerd none the less. Will entertain you for hours and hopefully cook good food for you. Will woo you by his guitar skills! First date would probably be in Toto's.

Smokers and dopers please apply.

With kindest wishes for the soon to be happy couple.

Me <3

BURN BABY..BURN !

I love the Seventies ! Forget the Sixties and definitely screw the Eighties ! People rocked in the seventies. Hell even Saturday Night Fever was a proud product of the Seventies. Except for the fact that Jimi Hendrix died in 1970 I love the decade.

Days and nights I dream of what could have been had I been born then. I know I would've had excellent taste in music. Men would still be pigs, but at the least they'd all be great dancers (think John Travolta...Night fever, night fever!)

My life in the seventies would be directly taken out from Saturday Night Fever. Yes, it is one of my fave films (an easy guess!) I danced like a lil fool that I am when I finally saw the film.

I'm not particularly fond of musicals but dayumm I love the music of that era. As a gawky teen I danced to Abba, singing on top of my lungs!

Everything in the Seventies seemed far more simpler, chilled out. Just the way I like my life. I can't be bothered with social complications, and I love doing the boogey ! If I were a young sexy THANG in the Seventies I would be the independent woman trying to make her mark, but partying her arse out at the Disco. I am still a feminist *with a diffrence* but I'm sure I would totally be into the burn the bra movement !

Mannnn, the discos were something of that time! I'm sure there were still pervy bastards wanting to buy you drinks back then, BUT at least they wouldn't be playing shite Hip Hop!

I mean...really what is with all shit R&B and Hip Hop? I like the occassional Rihanna and Jay Z but cut me some slack and play some good rock PLEASE! Some good ol' Rolling Stones, a bit of Aerosmith (the good ol' shit! Sweeeeeeeeettt Emotion !!! or Walk this Way), a song or two from Queen, something from the Black Sabbath. And a lot of Joy Division please!

I'm a retro girl, when I design my own pad I'm gonna recreate it as the Seventies. I love theme parties and I am still waiting to be called to a Seventies themed do ! That would be so much fun! Oh the dressing up. Did I mention I love the Seventies fashion? I was going through my parents' old pictures and OMG I am so jealous. Thank god good ol' Kate Moss is getting the 70's back for us ! Weeee

Now that I have established I am a crazy girl who lives in the past rather than the present, I'm glad we've got to know each other.

*goes back to her dreams of wearing high waisted flare jeans and attending music festivals...yes I would've been part of the hip crowd of the seventies....*

xxxxxxxxxx

The Skinny Issue

Being in fashion means being able to see runway models upclose. While I still have to see a runway model strutting her stuff live, I have seen quite a few zoomed in pictures to make me realise how bloody skinny these girls are.
With London Fashion Week knocking on the door of many fashion mags and such (trust me, they are all in a hurry to get things organized, similar to the designers who'd be displaying their stuff!) I can imagine pages filled with how "normal" people are worried that the "anorexic" models will influence their children!
AS IF! To be very honest, I personally believe that although runway models are sickeningly thin, they don't really affect young children. I doubt there are millions of teenage girls attending these shows or flipping through magazines thinking, "OOOO I wanna be that thin!" I could be wrong, but this is what I feel.
Eating disorders are not to be blamed on models, I think they are more to do with peer pressure. And I can say this with confidence, because I was a borderline anorexic. I never read Cosmo and thought that my real ambition in life was to be stick thin. On the contrary, I read Cosmo and went, wow I want to have a successful career!
Getting back to the topic, I interviewed a woman who was in her 20s during the Twiggy period. She was anorexic and bulmic. I asked her why she decided to lose weight, and it was more to do with her self confidence, her mother was a curvy woman and she personally despised that. She also mentioned that being wafer thin was possible because there was a general trend of being thin around that era. The woman, who is now fit and is proud of having a full figure mentioned she felt sorry for today's runway models because she understood what they go through to remain thin.
When I was in my early teens, I was part of the Mean Girl clique of my school. Although none of them were skinny, the leader of Mean Girls, lets call her A would constantly tell me I was fat and thus not as pretty as her! I clearly remember once she asked a classmate lets call her D, whose prettier, A or me. D cooly replied, I was the prettier one, specifying a few features of my face which I to date love. As a shy teenager I was overwhelmed that I was prettier than A. But oh no, being a mean girl, A couldn't take it and she went on a rampage to dampen my self esteem by pointing out the fatty bits of me. As we grew older, the fatty comments from A grew worse and in the end I decided to go on a diet. By dieting I mean hardly eating any food. I would eat tiny portions of my meal and I gave up a lot of things I adored. I my mind I decided I hate food, which meant I don't have to eat that much. I ate to survive and I was a miserable sod! Oh the mood swings and the anger.
I don't think anyone noticed I had lost weight or said anything. As for A I was still ugly as shit. That doesn't really do wonders to a teenage girl, does it? I was anemic, I'd hurt easily and I was a moody bitch! I had to get my blood checked every week and had to have to most disgusting medicines to keep myself going.
Luckily after all the drama and trauma, I bid Mean Girls goodbye. I made a whole new bunch of friends, of all types, fat-thin, pretty-ugly, girly-manly. And they all are lovely, well someone of them are. They would constantly worry about my tiny portions and would coax me into eating more.
I was pretty happy with myself, and I started loving food. I'm a complete foodie now and I am a tad bit overweight. I don't mind shedding extra pounds now, but I do know the difference between being pretty and being stick thin!
I do feel terribly sorry for runway models, they are paid to stay this thin. I'm sure it must not be a happy job. I don't think I can give up food even if they pay me a million pounds every week.
The size 0 factor is a huge problem in this society and I don't blame the models, I wish they knew the difference of being happy and fat! I think eating disorders can be blamed on members of the society, simply because there is such a need for perfection in this imperfect world!

XX

Mischa finds God!

Yes, quite like her party mate, Paris Hilton. Tearing a leaf from Ms Hilton’s book, Mischa Barton was spotted outside a church! But what interests me more is she wore.

After being released from jail, the OC star was spotted smoking a spliff only yesterday. But that didn’t stop her from looking good on her church trip.



Mischa was spotted outside Good Shepherd Catholic Church in LA, looking sombre and very trendy.

She wore a short white mini dress with yellow ballerinas complete with a cross necklace. The only thing missing in the outfit was a halo! To be fair, she did look lovely, let’s hope we see more of the thoughtful Mischa.

CHOCOLATE- My Sin

I write this blog as I grab another Twix out of the massive well...eh Twix bag :) Yummmy! Today was my last day as an official slob as I go back to work tomorrow and I'm really looking forward to it.
I'm now officially on a diet too *munches on another Twix bar* well that is after I finish all the chocolate at home! And that my dear friends, will take a long time, unless they are kept under lock and key, with the key being hid in a whale's tummy deep under the ocean! That would mean that in order to get the chocolate I'd have to go through the massive ordeal of going to the ocean (long journey!) find the specific whale, speak "whale" to it (I've watched Finding Nemo closely, and wrote down the pointers!!!) convince the whale to let me cut it open,at which point I will be attacked by Green Peace who would confuse me for a Japanese fisherwoman as I will frantically try to explain to the Green Peace Dude in a Crappy Suit (he best doesn't pretend not to be wearing a Green Peache tee under the wrinkled suit...my eyes are trained for fashion!!!) Anyhow, after much confusion, the GPDinCS (Green Peace Dude in a Crappy Suit) will let me go, mainly because I don't speak Japanese. We might even plot to catch the Japanese whale killers with my wonderful whale speaking talent! (but let's leave that for another day) The whale finally would have pity on me and spit out the key to the chocolate heaven ! I will then swim back to the land and I drag my butt back home, but then I will be sooo tired, chocolate won't even seem tempting!
Hehehe, yes I have gone mad ! But the above story seems a lot like my life. I seem to be chasing things, only to give it all up in the end.
All the years, I have been chasing to be a grown up and now frankly, I'm quite sick of it! Same goes with other things in my life but I don't want to get into the details.
Anyway, on to the most important thing in life, from tomorrow I officially give up chocolte. Well, not entirely. I would be bonkers to give up such a divine item. I have gone way OTT in regards with the Seven Deadly Sins, and Gluttony seems like a Lemon and Herb burger at Nando's compared to the Very Hot one I am used to!
But, yes, it's time for me to grow up, so in 2008 I will be seeing a lot less of chocolate, and a lot less of alcohol too!
I am just hoping this sacrifice has some effect on my childish mind!
xxx

TOP 10 2007 ALBUMS

1.Timbaland- Shock Value

Timbaland proved his skills as a record selling producer in 2006 and in this year he was back with a bang. Everyone wants a piece of him and that is exactly what you get in his album, Shock Value. One of the biggest albums of the year sees Timbaland team up with the who’s who of the music industry, heck even good ol’ Elton John decided to join him! His second solo album has 19 tracks with 22 guests ranging from Timberlake to 50 Cent. The album has a lot of memorable tracks such as The Way I Are and the super hit Apologize (how can you not love this song?). But there are equally unforgettable ones like the one with the Emo band Fall Out Boy…what’s the name of the track again?

2.Mika- Life in Cartoon



Mika hit our iPods early this year with Grace Kelly! Oh how we loved it! Initially passed off as a one hit wonder, Mika proved his critics wrong when his album released one hit single after another. The skinny curly haired boy filled his album with quirky, all singing, all dancing tunes which made it such a hit. Everyone loves a feel good album and Life in Cartoon motion was as exciting as its name! Mika’s debut album is such a hit because all the songs are very individualistic and unique just like the singer himself!


3.Arctic Monkeys- Favourite Worst Nightmare

And now about my favourite dream…Alex Turner! There are many naughty things I would love to do to Mr. Turner (what a yummy lil thing!! Reckon I'll write an entire post about him...hmm good thought!!) The witty group is back with their second studio album and we absolutely love it! If you like loud, fast and witty songs then Favourite Worst Nightmare should already be in your collection. This album is not as perfect as their first one. It is far more laid back and the band does overlook the detailed lyrics, which did help their first album to become the fastest selling album. My fave of the lot is definitely Tedyy Picker, you should hear the Glasto version (it's on my blog!) FANTASTIC !

4.Britney Spears- Blackout

Britters has done it again! Blackout is one of the top selling albums of the year and why shouldn’t it be? Blackout shows a more mature Britney and has much stronger material than any of her previous albums. If you thought Gimme More was catchy enough, wait till you’ve heard the rest, it might just blow your mind! Britney’s fifth studio record has songs that seem especially written for her. I'm not a big fan of the ex-princess of pop, give me Christina any day, but I am crazily addicted to Gimme More!

5.Leona Lewis- Spirit

We love a rag to riches story! Leona was just a regular girl trying her luck at X Factor (we were rooting for her right from the start!!!) Not to be forgotten as a one off reality TV talent, Lewis worked on her debut album for nine months. The album is bursting with love songs in high notes. Her single, Bleeding Love went straight to the top and has not moved an inch since then. Bleeding Love is the highlight of the album and the single will go down in music history. Her album does lack fun and it seems she is trying too hard. To be brutally honest, her wailing is putting me off, enough of it already !


6.Foo Fighters- Echoes, Silence, Patience and Grace


And now for some stadium thumping, power tunes. Part of the 90’s rock scene, the Foo Fighters are back with their sixth album and it is one of their best. The album debuted at the top of the UK album chart when it was released in September and has a Grammy nomination for Album of the Year. You’d have to be living under a rock to miss out on their hit, The Pretenders. Anything can be passed of as rock these days, the Foos are true rock royalty and bring back the glimmer of Nirvana days to us. Ahhh bliss!

7.Mark Ronson- Version

Mark Ronson took over I minds and music senses in summer and he is still doing that! The acclaimed DJ and producer’s second album is a large collection of covers. Mark Ronson plays with pop and rock songs, and his album seems far more superior than just cover songs. From Radiohead to The Smiths and Cold Play to Kasabian, the Grammy nominated album successfully works wonders without sounding to hum drum. I think Ronson did wonders with Amy Winehouse (and I loved the way Simon took the mikey outta him on last night's Never Mind the Buzzcocks...classic television!)

8.Kylie- X


We loved it when it came out and we still love it! Kylie’s album is full of retro, quirky tunes that make you want to dance till the early morning. She’s done it again and although she sticks to the classic disco style she does add her oomph making the album all about her. I do love the 2 Hearts video more than anything, more so for the Christian Louboutin shoes (Santa, give me a pair for Xmas!) and also the wicked skull mic...I'm a tad bit obsessed with skulls! Kylie has come back to rule the charts and she does it with style! The electro pop is superb.

9.Klaxons- Myth of the near future

Get your dancing shoes and head to the club, the Klaxons are here. The Myth of the Near Future is by far one of the best albums of the year. It is the loud, it’ll wake up your neighbours and it’ll gently uplift those groggy days. If you haven’t got yourself this energy infused awe-inspiring album then mate, you are missing out!


I'm listening to The Enemy now, We'll live and die in these towns! And I really need to get hold of some Pigeon Detective tunes...well hum ho I'll prolly do that when I am on my Xmas break...weeeeeee !!

xxx

Spotted! Paris Hilton Believes in Santa Claus

Christmas is here and who better to spread the Festive Cheer other than our favourite celebrities! Paris Hilton has recently been spotted wearing this very Santa Claus t-shirt, adding a little holiday spirit to the world! She ups her style quota by updating her casual look to glam with bold accessories (her red shoes remind me of Dorothy and I can’t wait to get my own pair!) This year’s top trend and still ‘hawt’ in the market is graphic t-shirts and Paris works this rock n roll meets vintage look perfectly! Think Topshop meets Urban Outfitters. Everyone from Mischa Barton to Lindsay Lohan has been spotted with graphic t-shirts, which made us rush out and buy some for ourselves. Take a cue from Ms Hilton and wear the Xmas spirit on your sleeve, quite literally!

BAGS BAGS AND MORE BAGS !!!!!

I've been lazy ! No really, I have. Yes, I'm busy every single day, yes my life is extremely manic. But the fact remains I am lazy !
I have having all these wonderful thoughts that I wanted to pen (type) down, but I have been lazy! Laziness is great though ! Well great for me, coz I love just zoning out and laziness helps me do exactly that.
Well hum dee dum, getting to the topic running that's been through my head recently! FASHION!! Yes, baby Fashion! Why? Because I love F.A.A.A.A.S.S.S.S.S.S.H.H.H.H.H.I.O.N!
And I also love bags, and I thought I would treat my little blog like dairy, by writing something interesting, instead of my rants!
I was reading the blogpost about Bagmybag.com, which is a designer bag renting sites for us poor people! Finally, I can have my dirty hands on the amazing Fendi bag, or the classic Chanel! Oh the joy !! A friend of mine had introduced me the idea of renting bags a couple of years ago, but there was a problem ! Not only was the rent price OTT, but also they were all based in America! Damn !!! One of the American sites with a great collection is BagBorrowSteal.com, which lets you choose a varied of vintage bags to the IT bags! They have a lovely selection that lets you borrow the bag your fav celebs been spotted with ! The Fendi bag, which I had been drooling over all throughout Summer, could be borrowed by a member for 117$ a week!
It rained all over my idea of sporting a Fendi spy bag! It wasn't part of my life plan to borrow bags for that much (although it still is cheaper than actually buying it...)it just didn't make sense borrowing a bag all the way from America!
But recently I stumbled upon Bagmybag.com, while doing work ex at handbag.com (the amazing fashion website!!!) I googled it, I checked the letter that was accompanied with the bag the Fashion Ed. had called for ! Finally, I found the website, but it was under construction! Boo-hoo !!! So I googled a bit more, and came across handbag.com's Fashion Ed's blog about the wesbite !! (Joy, oh joy!!) The bags are cheaper to rent, £30 a week and £70 a month for a Prada !!! And the best news of it all is...it is based in jolly ol' UK !
So as I wait for the website to become accessible I can just daydream about the lovely bags!! Ahh Fashion!!! The only BIG problem in all this would be having to return the bag at the end of the month !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
xxx

Life as I like it !

There is something liberating about eating lunch alone. I recently had a conversation with my friend who was planning to go to see a film alone. I was shocked ! I've known him for a couple of years, and although I knew he was into this whole 'I like my own company' sort of thing, I didn't realise that he being the social animal that he is, could go anywhere alone.
Anyhow, the conversation went on and he told me the pros of enjoying a few things alone & I announced the cons.
I've started working (or so I say!) in this website recently. On my first day of work, within two hours of my time in the office I was told to 'go for lunch!'
Slightly peeved off, I went to the nearest Starbucks (the saviour!!!) and ordered myself a cheese & tomato panini (which was delicious!!!) The chinese lady (apparently all Starbucks I go to have oriental people behind the counter!) very sweetly asked me if I would like to 'eat here or take a way', I thought a moment or two and scanning the store with my heavily kohled eyes, I decided to eat in. I had already decided my seat, a quiet corner where nobody will be able to see poor ol' me sitting all alone, munching on my panini & slurping my Mocha Frappacino! But as I made my way to my selected seat, a red haired woman swooped in and took MY seat ! Not letting it bother me, I sat at the nearest available seat, which to my shock was right in the middle of the shop!
So there I was, sitting on the wooden chair at Starbucks, looking at groups of people chatting together and giggling at their amusing stories. I wanted someone to be sitting and telling me stories! I decided to take out my book and read it, in order to look intellectual, thereby, proving I'm superior to the other giggling bunch of fools ! I decided against it, in case the panini stains my wonderful book!
I sat there eating my panini at my own leisurely time, enjoying the Indian music playing in the background.
I went on about this for quite sometime, till I realised that my panini was over and so was my Frappacino !
The whole expierence was not scary at all! I was not thrown out or looked down upon for being a lone loser ! I was just part of the crowd and on my own terms!
I didn't have to make any boring and unwanted conversation. I didn't have to smile to please someone else, I didn't even have to be polite while eating! If I wanted to burp, I could've! WOW!
Now this is what I call life on my own terms. I never thought I would enjoy alone time in the outdoors. I can be as alone as I want in my apartment, I have after all, the idiot box & MSN to keep me company. But this...this was a completely different and liberating feeling. I felt so grown up.
This helped me so much that I decided to go shopping alone the next day ! Next will be the cinema....nyah lets keep that for another lifetime.

XXX

Lament

I don't regret things much, but today I do regret something...something big....and the following lyrics sum it up for me....

She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until the night

She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger

- Whiskey Lullaby

....I don't think this is a break up song...I love this song, I love the feeling of love in it...It's the feeling of what could've been.

xxx

aaaahhh I am sooooo happy !!!! I'll be earning REAL bucks next week !!! it is not a long term job yet but I am sooo happy to be earning some moooolah on my own terms !!! Ka-Ching !!!!!
xxxxx

I need a job ! so badly ! so desperately ! I need to have a reason ! and i need it now ! anyone knows anyone who can get me a job in some media company? preferably a paid job ! I'm sick of doing voluntary jobs ! i need a life !! *sigh*

Have you ever been to a place in your life where you have this queasy feeling? It is not quite fulfilling yet it is not wholly empty ! It's got the sensation to lift you up yet everything is quite a blur ! I can't really explain it !
I'm feeling pretty okay, I'm not really in touch with the world today, my msn keeps beeping and the songs keep playing on my iTunes.I just ignore everything to live in my world. I'm listening to my favourite song on the loop, but unusually enough I am not lingering on to its words.
I maybe going slightly insane because I feel this strange kind of happiness engulf me it's big strong arms. I creep a little smile but I am scared to jinx it.
Last night I lay awake writing this poem in my head...I shut my eyes hard to retain all the words and mark it down on a paper. But my mind feels busy today, and I forget things easily. I want to do a thousand and one things, I am supposed to do a million and yet I stop at the first thing and ponder till the day comes to an end.
I want to watch films all day long, I don't need anyone right now. I am happy being me, I am happy being with me.
I know this is short lived, happiness is like a distant relative, one who visits only when he (strangely enough happiness is a male!) needs me.
Hum dee dum I shall bask in the glory of this distant relative today.
If this blog post makes no sense, forgive me please, because I am happy !

xxx

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
- Abraham Lincoln


At the age of fourteen I penned down my life. I penned down what I wanted to study, what I wanted to avoid, what I wanted to become. Except for a few minor changes I have managed to abide by my decisions. I am extremely stubborn and contrary to what people believe I am a perfectionist, or so I would like to believe.
So far things have gone to plan, with the obvious involvement of the general and often overwhelming emotions. Now at the age of twenty-two, eight years after my decision, I am clueless. This scares me. Yes, I am over-emotional, over-dramatic and over-analytical, but the fact that I feel like I have no control over my life is the single most scariest emotion.
My life is right now is in the hands on the few dozen prospective employers who I hope will employ me sooner during the day. I have worked hard, I fought twice as hard to be recognized, studied harder than most to be able to get grades that will ensure a good career, met the right kind of people, yet today I feel all that has been a waste.
A woman who I have been in touch with to get me a simple week of work experience in a company has not even read my CV ! Sheer disappointment followed by extreme frustration.
I want to start all over again. I am losing whatever little sense of self I had, I am turning into another face in the crowd, something I have despised for a long time.
I need to hold on to my sanity, I need to believe...but these words just seem so empty. The light at the end of the tunnel is so far that I cannot see it, I fear I may not see it for a very long time now.

I LIKE SEMI NAKED SPARTANS ! I THINK THEY ARE HOT !! 300 IS AN AWESOME FILM ! BBOOOHOOO LADDDOOOO CHOWDHURY !!! bwhaahahaha

xxx

Technology makes life easier...easy for stalkers too ! I just got this fine message from some guy, who wrote a long paragraph describing my beauty ! Flattering indeed, it was a bit freaky as that guy spoke about love at first sight and would talk about my smile and my eyes and what not !! Just thinking back about it gives me shudders !
I'm sure this guy has no intention of stalking me. Maybe he is just a computer geek who likes checking people out on myspace! Besides how can someone notice soooo much from one picture...? Maybe I am a minger, and that one mugshot of mine was the only thing worth putting of a website !
I have had a friend who has been offered a meal to be cooked for her by a complete stranger on a social network! We had a few girly giggles over it, the thought of a stranger cooking in the name of your beauty still cracks us up !
Come to think of it...we do let complete strangers come into our lives. Freaks we get so fond of that we start referring to them as friends, partners or colleagues ! These freaks may not necessarily be part of social networking websites, and the first introduction could have been more "human". But at the end of the day everyone we know today, except family of course.
This is not to say that we should jump if someone checks your orkut profile 100 times a day or befriend the guy who just wouldn't stop poking you on facebook! I have had a tough time with strangers I have met, yet my blog is mostly dedicated to all those strangers I have encountered who make my life so worthwhile, mostly with their sheer stupidity !
I would no longer be comfortable with talking to a stranger through a social network, because everyone now seems to be a sex fiend, but I know overall two people who I have met so randomly who are the greatest and funniest people in my life !
I do think strangers are nice people, but only nice from far.

XXX

I'M HAPPY !!!
aaaahhh you get such few moments of sheer happiness these days I wanna cherish this moment !!! Dayum I feel gooooooooooooooood :D

xoxoxoxoxox

“Homesickness is. . . absolutely nothing. Fifty percent of the people in the world are homesick all the time. You don't really long for another country. You long for something in yourself that you don't have, or haven't been able to find.”

I have little idea who that quote is from but it sums up the way I feel right now. Being the youngest child of my clan I have been the most pampered and spoilt and probably the most rebellious. I have got my way through and have been adored even when I shouldv'e been despised. I guess that has been one of the reasons why I took family and love for granted.
Of late I have been missing my family a lot, and have started whining more than usual. After I returned from India, I started missing life out there, soon after I left for Spain and fell in love with the country. After a merry filled holiday I returned to boredom infused days and nights in London. Now I miss Spain. Spain is not my home, so why am I homesick for it?
The above quote got me thinking about all this homesickness business. I've not known a person who misses HOME, because surely wherever you build up your nest, that is home. Homesickness is indeed just a feeling of emptiness mixed with the fear of being alone.
I've never ever truly lived alone. I've always had someone to keep me company, someone in the nearby room who I could simply sit and gossip with. Ever since I've moved to my new house (which BTW I love!!) I feel empty. Whether I walk around the entire house or poke my head out of the window, I'm not going to get a response. No girly giggles, no shrill voices, no banging of kitchen utensils, absolutely nothing! I think it is this silence that makes you miss what you have had otherwise.
This gets me to another point, humans are lonely people. Even the most social moth finds solace in the occassional self pondering ! So why does loneliness affect so much? If a person prefers to seek comfort in his or her own company we often mock them by calling them a LONER! Life sure is unfair and oh so confusing !
I think I'm at a point in my life where I've just left behind a very vibrant fast-paced lifestyle and I guess this is what has been annoying me. I think people need people, they way light bounces of something to make it beautiful, people need other people to bounce their feelings and emotions of, even if they are not the most philosophical ones.
Does this imply to soulmates though? Are there actually people who your soul is connected to? If so, how are you to know when that connection is made? Doesn't that connection ever fizzle out? Do soulmates make loneliness more bearable? The worst bit about soul mates is you might just meet them at the wrong time...and your life doesn't ever get a meaning then....

Home is where the heart is...but what if your heart longs for a million places !!

Bit too emotional for me...but hey this is what loneliness does to you !! pffft !