Commuting by public transport in London can be quite a sport. No, no, not the adventorous kind, but the "watching a boxing match on TV" kind of sport!
When commuting an excruciating long journey to and fro work, Londoners can only do the following few things.
A) Pretend to be utterly engrossed in your book/ newspaper
B) Listen to your iPod etc and have a complete blank look on your face
c) Sleep

I on the other hand am the rude commuter who stares at people nearby, making up stories about their lives. Being observant is one of the things that make me a journalist! And hey, it's a good way to pass time.

On my way to work today I saw a BLINGTARD. (definition: Blingtard- someone who goes OTT with BLING BLING!) I was amazed to see this botoxed woman and being me I started bitching about her clothes in my head. She had so much of bling on, I needed sunglasses to sheild my poor eyes! Gold chains, diamond rings on all fingers, bracelets, studded blingy bag, fur coat, and those darn Faith black boots with studs and diamonds and every shite thing possible!

I'm not bitch and I'm totally into each to their own. Everyone has a right to wear what they want. But never in my life had I thought I would ever see a Real Life BLINGTARD. I wish I had a camera, it was indeed a Kodak moment!

I looked at her, then I looked at me. She stared me down. My badly straightened hair, my chipped red nail varnish, my face looking like someone's punched me. Oh god ! I looked like a complete TART !

Sheesh...what's better a TART or a BLINGTARD? To justify myself, I can only say that it was wahaaayyy too early in the morning for me and I just recently recovered from fever! Meh, even with all that I didn't look like a Blingtard....nyah nyah nyaaa

Also, it looked like Blingtard had colour her blonde hair with a very mean shade of pink, the work of a crack addict I must say.

Eh, maybe she just wanted to be a strawberry blonde. ;)

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