I suppose society is wonderfully delightful. To be in it is merely a bore. But to be out of it is simply a tragedy.- Oscar Wilde
On 31st January 2010, I was extremely upset. Finally, after being shaken out of it, I managed to mumble that I'd like what she's having.This 'she' was someone I knew in London - perfect job, perfect boyfriend, the good life. 'She' is younger than me, so I wanted all this soon, I was really sick of waiting. It wasn't a case of envy, I just wanted my dreams to come true, enough already!
In exactly a month, I'll be turning twenty-five.I'm actually looking forward to this birthday more than any other year. I'm supposed to be all grown up now. So, I did live up to part of my deadline, I did land the dream job but alas, I feel I lost a lot along the way. It's hard for me to be happy, when I have no one to be happy with.
Loneliness is something I've always battled. But this time it's been worse. In particular, I hate weekends, absolutely detest Sundays. Today, is a Sunday - the worst in the past three and a half months. I used to look forward to them, now I wish I could lay in bed, locked in the room all day and just wait for Monday to come. Mondays are better, at least I have things to look forward to, even if it's trying to settle in office.
"Everyone I love, goes away in the end."*
It sucks, no one has time for me. I'm sorry for this rant, but I'm trying to get over my heart hurting so much.
xxx
*Lyrics from Hurt by Johnny Cash
No comments:
Post a Comment