Life is a funny thing. A dark comedy at it's best.
Yesterday, my uncle started a discussion. He asked, " what is more important in life?" It was a multiple choice question, to which he argued, breath is most important in life, without breath, you can't have a life. My sister and I argued happiness is more important - what is the use of breathing daily when you are unhappy?
I've always believed life is really about chasing happiness. Now, happiness can mean different things to different people. For some its wealth, for some it's the affection of their kids, for some it's having at the very least three meals and a roof to live under. Happiness is what we all aim for.
Happiness along with content is what life is all about. Life is hard, why make it more complicated?
I love the Persian saying, "I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet."
We all want a lot of happiness, true and it's not bad to want to be happy. But we need to understand what happiness and being content truly means.
I have met so many people who hate their jobs. I'm sorry you feel that you can't contribute enough, or achieve what you want to in your job. But think a second about those people who have lost their jobs or don't have a job at all, even though they believe they have the potential.
I worked hard through my university days, I was always bordering towards below average in school. When I moved to London, I wanted to prove to a lot of people that I am capable. I wanted a good job, so I studies, interned, worked in the uni newspaper, uni tv, and even tried my hand at hospital radio.
I don't come from a background where girls or even boys are allowed to do whatever they want.
Two years after graduating, I'm still unemployed. It hurts.
I don't believe in regrets, but since we are on the topic of life, I thought I'll share one thing that has completely altered my life.
The day I moved back from India. Maybe in a few years' time I won't be filled with such remorse. But I wish I could go back to life pre-October 2009. For most of the time, I was happy. I was content. And it was because I had the one thing in my life there, that refuses to come here with me. I had moments of sheer depression and frustration in London, but nothing compared to this.
"Loneliness is the most terrible poverty." But when you are surrounded even by familiar faces and you feel alone, that's terrible! To know, that not a single one of them knows you, it hurts.
I feel broken to the point of no repair. I feel alone and I don't know where I belong.
Yes, indeed in life you could have everything, all the luxuries and amenities, but it all fails when your heart is crying out for help.
I've had this song playing in loop in my head the last couple of days, and it seems so right:
"I haven't really found a place I call home,
I never really stick around long to make it...it's just a thought, only a thought."
- life for rent by di
*sorry I don't remember the correct lyrics, but the song fits.
* loneliness quote by Mother Theresa
Xxx
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